A. and I braved the baby-industrial complex yesterday, taking the day-long Prepared Childbirth class at Isis Maternity in Needham.
We saw two childbirth videos: one featured pain intervention, the other, screaming.
Actually, it wasn’t that bad. We talked a lot about how the moms are feeling now, when to call the doctor, when to go to the hospital. They allayed our fears that we would have the baby on the way to the hospital — apparently that only happens in movies. We learned what happens in the delivery room. We learned all sorts of scary new acronyms. We learned that the external fetal monitor does not actually have a siren on it.
One of the better parts was the childless friend stepping in for the out-of-town dad. She made the best comment of the day, describing the videos as “the best form of birth control.” She also asked the first epidural question. I’m convinced she was an audience plant, put there to make sure that the rest of the group kept engaged.
We have three more classes scheduled: Infant CPR, Newborn Essentials, and (…)Feeding Basics, a class I need not attend, and dare not write out for fear of Internet filters miscategorizing the site. I’m sure at this rate we’ll have this whole parenthood thing down pat, before it even starts.